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As you say, you were in snow. The OP said he was on ice. Snow is really quite manageable; ice is its own master.

He also said it was the rear end that was floating. My first guess at a solution would be to put some serious weight back there (couple sandbags maybe?) -- the added weight might help the tires find better traction. That would be a cheap solution. Next guess would be a 4-wheel alignment, but I think he's been there.
There was snow, ice, sleet, rain, fog you name it. Especially with esp on there should be no issue... I was just stating that it sounds like a mechanical problem and my wife's Saturn had a similar issue last winter. A stock vehicle, unless it's a short bed single cab truck, should not need anything to drive stably.
 
Interestingly, I've got RRO SuperSliders, a 1 1/4" trailer hitch receiver, and about as much gear in the cargo area as you. Much more solid feel all around than my wife's FDI Latitude without all that weight in all conditions, quieter too with the Sliders I believe, no creeks and squeaks and things. Damn thing is that my Pat is sitting lower overall and sagging in the rear more than an inch and a half, driving me nuts, so much so that I know I need CRDSTUs. That project is going to cost me around $1200., but I believe it will solve my sag problems.
I haven't noticed much sagging with my TAG bumpers yet but planning on STUs in the spring. 1200 seems high, Stu's were ~$500 last time I checked shouldn't be that much for an alignment.
 
I went to the dealer, complained about the problem and they said they would have to rebuild the complete rear end suspension to correct the camber problem which "might" correct the problem. I showed them the adjustable camber arms available on the market and they claimed they have not ever heard of it. I went to my trustworthy tire store and they installed the arms along with new quality winter tires, a four wheel alignment to correct the camber problem. and we were on our way. New fall, winter, same problem!!!!! The camber on the rear wheels looks way over specs visually. I will check the torque on the arms myself and adjust them by eye, or by using the level for degrees with my cell phone. Other wise it's time to dump it and buy a foreign vehicle.
What do you have for tires?
 
OP has already vented about it not being a tire issue, but I'm with you. We had a couple lousy sets of tires on our Wrangler and it was unstable in rain and outrageous in snow. If the snow wasn't deep I would have preferred my Grand Prix that I had at the time. With the Goodyear RTSs (definitely not a snow tire) it couldn't even resist the crown of the road! Not a good situation on winding hilly rural roads in a snowstorm.

Also, on the aforementioned Grand Prix I noticed it was unstable in rain and I put new tires on the REAR (not the front as one might usually do) and it corrected the problem.

Still, OP insists its not the tires, but myself, I'd get a new set of tires before I'd start rebuilding the suspension.
I was responding to jeepgirlafirst...
 
I own a 2012 Patriot with 40,000 miles that I purchased in July for a good winter vehicle for my wife. I love the looks, comfort, and overall performance of the Patriot even though the CVT is a bit loud.... until winter rolled in.
This is the most unstable vehicle I have owned for winter driving! It slithers around on icy roads like nothing I've driven. Before winter hit I purchased some steel rims and General Altima Arctic tires, as they worked very well on the Ford Taurus I had before the Jeep. So this behavior is not because of tires and I've been under the car and checked the suspension for worn parts but nothing obvious. I believe it's a design flaw of some kind for as many people that have posted with this problem. I have a 09 Ford Explorer I drive for work with 112000 miles, with Cooper At3 and have had no suspension work done to it, that tracks as straight as an arrow in comparison.

I've lived my entire life in the western UP of Michigan in the snow belt and have 40 years of winter driving with rear drive to front drive cars and trucks under my belt and I'll say this on of the scariest rides to date. It's a shame, I wanted a Jeep Patriot since they came out and now that I have it I wish I didn't.
Welcome fellow Yooper! How are you checking everything out? Are you raising it up on jack stands/a lift and wiggling individual tires? It's generally harder to diagnose suspension issues with a load on them. Also has the car had an alignment recently? With all the offroading and general "baja-ing" around I've had to get a few alignments on my '13. I think it is one of the best performing winter cars I've ever driven, and that's on mud terrain tires(they are siped too though). Also I've had to replace an inner tie rod, but I've done all of this work on my own for less than a couple hundred dollars. I'd start with the alignment or having the alignment shop inspect everything for looseness before they do the alignment.
 
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