Teen Sexting Ban in NYC

[Medic311]

Gone too far? You decide...

http://wcbstv.com/local/sexting.nyc....2.1760507.html


NYC Wants Teen 'Sexting' Ban, In School And Home
Dept. Of Education Targets Sexually Explicit Text Messaging Outside Of School Hours With Up To 90-Day Suspension
NYCLU Slams Idea, Says It's A Violation Of Freedom Of Expression

Parents and schools struggle with the role technology plays in kids' lives. But a new push to keep them safe has some saying it goes too far.

Schools now want to punish students caught "sexting" -- no matter where they do it.

The Department of Education wants to ban both cyber bullying and sexting in New York City's public schools at all times, even outside of school hours.

"We've always been respectful of first amendment rights. I think we'll get the right balance here," said Schools Chancellor Joel Klein.

While new laws are being enacted to prevent cyber bullying, sexting is not so straightforward.

Sexting has drawn the opposition New York's Civil Liberties Union.

"What on earth is that? It is a vague, undefined prohibition that impacts expression outside of school," said Donna Lieberman of NYCLU.

The proposal would let a principal do anything from hold a parent conference to expel for cyber bullying.

Not only does the Department of Education want to ban sexually explicit text messaging that students may do off hours on nights, weekends and summer vacation, but they also want to punish them for it, handing out up to a 90-day suspension.

Students said this proposal is going too far.

"If they're doing it inside of school, that's perfectly fine, but outside of school they don't really have a right over what you do with your phone," said Brooklyn resident Valerie Valdez.

"If it's not in school then I don't see how my cell phone and the school have any relation together," said Queens resident Naomi Moore.

Yet parents find it less of a black and white issue.

"What may be acceptable for a parent to their child may not be acceptable to a school and where do you draw the line?" said Lisa Spector of the Upper East Side.

"I wouldn't want them punishing my child, but somehow if we could prevent sexting and cyber bullying and everything I would be in favor of that," said Brooklyn resident Betsy Davidson.

Both issues will be debated next Wednesday. Parents expect those meetings to be heated, indeed.

[GenXer]

Is this along the lines of the salt ban and trans fat ban in NYC? I am surprised these people aren't patrolling the streets of NYC:

[jepstr67]

Who is going to enforce this? "Big Brother"?

[Medic311]

Originally Posted by jepstr67

Who is going to enforce this? "Big Brother"?

well AT&T is already half-way there by limiting people's cell phone data usage to 2GB...and then charging them $10 / GB extra.

[jepstr67]

Originally Posted by jgg204

well AT&T is already half-way there by limiting people's cell phone data usage to 2GB...and then charging them $10 / GB extra.

No. That's just commerce, not censorship. You could go to another carrier unless you really love the iPhone.

Little do they know that too much information kills a relationship. The mystery is what keeps people interested. If you are constantly sexting your boyfriend/girlfriend close up shots of your "goods" the only place to go for something new and interesting is to another person.

[Gaz]

I don't know how much "mystery" plays into keeping someone interested... It sounds an awful lot like a nice idea kept by those who would like to remain "old fashioned," but not like much truth.

As for enforcement, that's easy... One kid makes another kid mad and everything private becomes public. Happens in the adult world, too, which is why I try to remember that text, email and the internet have all replaced the bulletin board; if I wouldn't put it on the bulletin board, it doesn't get communicated in this medium.

Cyber bullying is rampant, and we need to extend current laws to the internet and cell-phones. Laws that are in place about assault, assault of character, harassment, etc. I think schools should be treated like the workplace and kept out of personal time - they have no business checking what the kids are doing on the weekend any more than my boss has checking up on me.

G

[jepstr67]

Originally Posted by Gaz

I don't know how much "mystery" plays into keeping someone interested... It sounds an awful lot like a nice idea kept by those who would like to remain "old fashioned," but not like much truth.

G

Remember the first song you ever fell in love with? Playing it over and over until everyone around you forbid you to play it again? Now that you are an adult, do you come home from work and play that same song over and over, staying up so late that you are tired at work the next day?

Or, do you like a different song now? A newer song. Perhaps even a song you've never heard before today? Not that you don't like to flip the old vinyl on the stereo once in a while, but hey, there are new tunes to enjoy....

There is nothing "old fashioned" about it. The mystery of something new will always intrigue man kind. Sex with a new partner is one of those things.....

[Randoo-N-CJ]

Originally Posted by jepstr67

The mystery of something new will always intrigue man kind. Sex with a new partner is one of those things.....

I agree with the first line a lot. How many toys did we think we needed are now hardly used? Electronic toys come to mind the most. When they are new we can hardly keep our hands off of them. As they get older....not so much.
Your second line I also agree with but for some reason my wife didn't think that was too funny. Go figure.

[Medic311]

if a girl is unable to shake the peer pressure and willingly goes along with it by sending sexually explicit texts (written words or pictures of her breasts/other areas) to her supposed boyfriend, she has issues that extend far beyond that which involve "sexting".

if a teenage girl (or really anyone) gets a picture of themselves taken in a vulnerable position (nudity or sexual acts) without knowledge and consent, and then that picture is distributed to the public...well that now involves some very hefty legal issues.

[jepstr67]

Originally Posted by jgg204

if a girl is unable to shake the peer pressure and willingly goes along with it by sending sexually explicit texts (written words or pictures of her breasts/other areas) to her supposed boyfriend, she has issues that extend far beyond that which involve "sexting".

if a teenage girl (or really anyone) gets a picture of themselves taken in a vulnerable position (nudity or sexual acts) without knowledge and consent, and then that picture is distributed to the public...well that now involves some very hefty legal issues.

Agreed. One is stupidity. The other is a crime. Man, are we lucky stupidity isn't a crime.

[Medic311]

Originally Posted by jepstr67

No. That's just commerce, not censorship. You could go to another carrier unless you really love the iPhone.

i know lol, it was just a crack on AT&T

[Gaz]

Originally Posted by jepstr67

Remember the first song you ever fell in love with? Playing it over and over until everyone around you forbid you to play it again? Now that you are an adult, do you come home from work and play that same song over and over, staying up so late that you are tired at work the next day?

Or, do you like a different song now? A newer song. Perhaps even a song you've never heard before today? Not that you don't like to flip the old vinyl on the stereo once in a while, but hey, there are new tunes to enjoy....

There is nothing "old fashioned" about it. The mystery of something new will always intrigue man kind. Sex with a new partner is one of those things.....

Mystery isn't what makes music popular. In fact, if you listen to the most popular music -regardless of genre- you'll notice after a while that all the songs sound very similar. Sure, some of the poetry or the music changes a little bit, but if you were to play something new to the point of mystery for most people they would balk. Same can be said about movies. We retell the same stories over and over again because people want the same, comforting thing over and over again. That being said, try finding a song or story as complex as any person worth spending time with.

As for mystery being a part of sex with a new partner, I don't really buy it. Sure, there's the rush of a new partner, but I don't think that's about mystery so much as it is about conquest for most men. There are all sorts of studies on why men cheat, as well as why women do, and "mystery" isn't a huge factor. In fact, I think the vast majority of people would agree that sex with someone who knows what buttons to push (or twist/pull/whatever) is better than the fumbling about that is done early on in a relationship. The same could be said about the "mystery" of sex itself: years later, sex isn't such a mysterious thing as it was in the beginning, but we still do it (even having a fairly good idea of how it will end).

Yes, I think relationships can burn out when the couple really gets to know one another, but I really don't think that's about killing mystery so much as it's about the number of options available to people, and how incompatible a couple can become. Then there's all those people who want the romance that exists only in love songs, romance novels and rom-coms. Not to mention the fact that it is now a heck of a lot more socially acceptable to "commit" numerous times to numerous partners.

Now, most guys can think of their favourite toy... It didn't get wrapped up and placed under the tree or get opened up with friends and family all watching after singing and eating cake and ice-cream... No, it was something he was born with... And well into adulthood the average male still plays with that toy. Sure, some of the thoughts can change or the cast of imaginary playmates, but the toy is the same toy he's always had and it gets played with relatively the same way as it ever has. No real mystery there.

I think mystery is a sweet way to describe interest that doesn't easily fade, but I would bet that familiarity is also a huge part of the success of most long-term relationships.

G

[Gaz]

Originally Posted by jgg204

if a girl is unable to shake the peer pressure and willingly goes along with it by sending sexually explicit texts (written words or pictures of her breasts/other areas) to her supposed boyfriend, she has issues that extend far beyond that which involve "sexting".

Something about that statement bugs me. I know this is the internet, and we post as we think a lot of the time, but it seems somewhat condescending as well as condemning.

I cannot easily condemn someone for trusting. We trust with money, sex, child-rearing, opinions and on and on... I don't know the stats, but I would bet the number of couples who exchange sexually explicit emails/text messages/postcards/whatever is fairly high. In fact, I would go so far as to say the number of couples who take part in racy photo/video sessions is well into the millions, and don't involve distribution of any kind.

Relationships end. I know I've been in a couple of relationships where we both figured "this is the ONE" and it ended anyway. If a relationship ends and afterward someone betrays a trust rather than doing the right thing (turning over or destroying sexually explicit documentation), then that person is to blame and not the victim of the exploitation. "Supposed" boyfriend or girlfriend is a term that's applied post-mortem of the relationship, and hindsight is 20/20.

G

[jepstr67]

Originally Posted by Gaz

Mystery isn't what makes music popular. In fact, if you listen to the most popular music -regardless of genre- you'll notice after a while that all the songs sound very similar. Sure, some of the poetry or the music changes a little bit, but if you were to play something new to the point of mystery for most people they would balk. Same can be said about movies. We retell the same stories over and over again because people want the same, comforting thing over and over again. That being said, try finding a song or story as complex as any person worth spending time with.

As for mystery being a part of sex with a new partner, I don't really buy it. Sure, there's the rush of a new partner, but I don't think that's about mystery so much as it is about conquest for most men. There are all sorts of studies on why men cheat, as well as why women do, and "mystery" isn't a huge factor. In fact, I think the vast majority of people would agree that sex with someone who knows what buttons to push (or twist/pull/whatever) is better than the fumbling about that is done early on in a relationship. The same could be said about the "mystery" of sex itself: years later, sex isn't such a mysterious thing as it was in the beginning, but we still do it (even having a fairly good idea of how it will end).

Yes, I think relationships can burn out when the couple really gets to know one another, but I really don't think that's about killing mystery so much as it's about the number of options available to people, and how incompatible a couple can become. Then there's all those people who want the romance that exists only in love songs, romance novels and rom-coms. Not to mention the fact that it is now a heck of a lot more socially acceptable to "commit" numerous times to numerous partners.

Now, most guys can think of their favourite toy... It didn't get wrapped up and placed under the tree or get opened up with friends and family all watching after singing and eating cake and ice-cream... No, it was something he was born with... And well into adulthood the average male still plays with that toy. Sure, some of the thoughts can change or the cast of imaginary playmates, but the toy is the same toy he's always had and it gets played with relatively the same way as it ever has. No real mystery there.

I think mystery is a sweet way to describe interest that doesn't easily fade, but I would bet that familiarity is also a huge part of the success of most long-term relationships.

G

Your thoughts on developing an adult long term relationship are spot on. The familiarity, the trust, the "soul mate factor", so to speak. I agree with all that for those of us who are not teens. I also agree it is really much of the same "story , song, movie". We all have basically, all the same parts and find them interesting in the same ways over and over again all through life.

None of that long haul relationship philosophy has anything to do with "TEEN" Sexting. As we all know, High School is not a place, it's a state of mind. Adult rules/thoughts/ideas/values really don't apply. These young people are still in the phase of "Hey that really does feel like it looks and looks like it feels! cool."

[todde702]

cyber-bullying...really? So what, you get a text saying I just swatted your books on the ground so drop them, now I'm shoving you? What a joke. I'm glad I'm not in school now. If I got a cyber-bully text, I'd go walk up to the clown and pop him in the nose. Probably be the last thing he expected.